Once Upon A Time In London

This is the tale of the adventures of a native Oregonian in London.

20 June 2007

Adventures in York, Chapter Four: Really Cool Georgian Stuff



The next stop on our mad tour of York was Fairfax House which bills itself as the "finest Georgian townhouse in England". I can't say if it is or it isn't, but it is most certainly magnificent!






The house was created in 1762 as a dowry for Anne Fairfax, the only surviving child of Viscount Fairfax. Sadly, Anne never needed a dowry. At one point she did fall in love with a young man, but her father, a devout Catholic, disapproved of the match. Apparently, the man's shocking sin was that he only attended mass 3 or 4 times per week! The engagement was ended, and Anne lived out her life wealthy, but alone.








Each room of Fairfax House is gorgeously decorated with furniture, paintings, and various accoutrements of the time period. What would have been the grand entry hall is now the museum gift shop. Stuffed to the gills with teapots, teacups and crocheted doilies, chocolates and teas and jams of all sorts, it set my little heart aflutter. Tea. Must have tea.








The first actual room is done up as the Viscount's study. It's a very manly sort of room with shelves of leather bound books and a desk of dark wood. The colors are all very muted and somber. I can easily imagine the viscount sitting down with his pipe to read some appropriately mind-improving book or other.








Across the hall is the dining room, which is massive. The walls are done in cornflower blue and one wall boasts a gorgeous marble fireplace. The massive mahogany table is set for entertaining with an antique silver dinner set, candlesticks, china dinnerware, and food that looks good enough to eat. I tried to restrain myself, however. It was made of wax.




The rest of the feast was located down the hall in the kitchen. Pots and pans and a fiery oven dominate the small space. Every surface is covered in food fit for a king. Well, if the king resides in Madam Tussuad's, that is. Still it definitely gave you the idea of what one of those glorious Georgian dinner parties must have been like: fish pies, pork pies, roasted meats, fruit compotes, cheeses and breads. So many different delicacies, my mouth starts watering. Except over the fish, of course.


One of the lasts stops on our tour of Fairfax House is the room that would have been Anne's bedroom. While today the room faces a brick wall, in Anne's day it would have looked over a vast manicured garden all the way down to the river. It would have been a beautiful and peaceful room.


The room has been decorated as closely as possible to how it would have been when Anne lived there. The few records that remain indicated that her wallpaper had been of a Chinese bird pattern in tones of yellow. Fortunately, with the limited variety of wall paper in those days, the historians were able to find a sample of wall paper from Georgian England that answered that description and had it duplicated for the walls of the bedroom. There are even prayer books on the desk that actually belonged to Anne and her sister when they were away at school. A picture of Anne hangs over the mantle. A beautiful girl, and by all accounts very smart and very kind.
As I look about this beautiful and peaceful room, I feel a momentary sadness for this woman I never met. Here she was with all this beauty and wealth and no one to share it with. It reminds me of how grateful I am for the people I have in my life. I much prefer happily ever afters.
With that in mind, next stop: The Dungeon....




19 June 2007

Adventures in York, Chapter Three: The Caste That Wasn't a Castle







I have to say that the castle museum was quite fun despite the grave disappointment of there being no actual castle.




The first part of the museum was dedicated to life throughout history. For instance, I was most impressed by the collection of hoovers (vacuum cleaners). They had every kind of hoover from something made out of a wooden box (Don't ask how it worked, I've no idea.) to a very groovy 70s gig. What truly amused me was a brand spanking new Dyson. Not something I expected to see in a museum.




The whole history of British life at home was laid out before me from toilets (Including a frightening contraption of metal buckets, levers, coils and whatnot.), bathrooms, kitchens, and living rooms. The history of marriage, child birth (Which I studiously avoided in abject terror. I think Jim was relieved.), and even death was laid out before us in shining glass boxes. There was even a hearse in the middle of one of the rooms. Luckily they left the horses outside.




After the more "girlie" exhibits came the "boy" ones. Swords, guns, helmets, uniforms, gas masks and so on lined the halls along with the history of various wars, particularly how they impacted York. Needless to say this portion was not my cup of tea. I'm afraid I hustled poor Jimbo straight through.






And then game the next "girlie" bit... Jane Austenesque costumes! I was completely thrilled! And after the costumes came cases full of shoes (Yes, shoes!), jewelry and fancy dishes. There was even an exhibit of food throughout the ages. Thankfully it was done in wax, so it looked delicious, but was less likely to moulder away.







I have to say that one of the most interesting bits of the museum were the areas that were set up like actual streets in the town. Rather than having your usual glass case full of chamber pots and dinnerware, it was set up to look like a store front with a display of such items in the window. Some shops, such as the toy store and the apothecary, you could actually walk into and speak with the "proprietor" dressed in appropriate costume of the day. After giving you a brief history of his shop, you could then purchase a small item from him. I was weak. I bought a pink sugar mouse and gobbled it up straight away. I always wondered what a sugar mouse would taste like. It was definitely yummy!


Naturally, I had to check out the school room complete with desks, chalkboard and maps of the world. Unfortunately while we could check out the jail, someone had locked the cells so we couldn't mess about in them. How rude!
After a mooch about the museum shops we headed outside for some ice cream. The mobile ice cream unit (Somehow that sounds like an emergency vehicle.) was out of chocolate (GASP! Horror!), so I settled for strawberry which turned out to be excellent! So we slurped on our ice cream cones as we headed back across the parking lot and headed for the Georgian Era. What is it with me and "Really Cool Georgian Stuff"?

18 June 2007

Adventures in York, Chapter Two: Once Upon A Time In The Castle





I have to say I was most disappointed in the castle. Mostly I was disappointed in the fact that there wasn't a castle. I mean, one would think that there might be a castle somewhere in the vicinity of a place called the Castle Museum, but there is no actual castle still standing. I ought to sue for false advertising!


Apparently there was a castle at some point, complete with walls and a moat. The moat is now a parking lot. The only thing remaining of the castle itself is the tower.



Admittedly, the tower was rather exciting. It was very exciting because this tower, which perches on a fake hill overlooking the car park, fits in to the category I have dubbed "Really Old Stuff". This is my favourite category. I love "Really Old Stuff". I judge all trips on how much I am able to experience "Really Old Stuff".




My excitement was short lived because this really cool tower belonging to the category of "Really Old Stuff" (and formerly part of a genuine English castle) had the misfortune to answer to the most boringly unfortunate name of Clifford's Tower.




What kind of person names a cool old tower Clifford's Tower? Only thing worse would be calling it Bob's Tower. They don't even explain why it's called Clifford's Tower. Clifford didn't build it. Henry the III built it. It should be Henry's Tower. Use a little creativity here, people! How about something dark and mysterious like The Tower of A Thousand Screams? Or something romantic like the Trysting Tower? Really, they needed someone like me around to help them give stuff properly interesting names.



Clifford's Tower it remains, however. The castle was originally built by William the Conqueror , and was rebuilt by Henry III in the 13th century (including, evidently, Clifford's Tower). There are only about a million stairs, which is a fantastic workout for the thighs (Needed to burn off those yummy bangers.), but the view is well worth the exercise. The city of York stretches before me, the abbey in the distance. Amazing. Poor Jimbo has issues with heights, but he is very brave and takes pictures for me.
After his bravery over the tower, I take pity on him and we return to solid ground. Then it's off to the museum for the non-existent castle. A museum surrounded by, brace yourself, Harley's. That's right. A somber museum surrounded by at least one hundred flashily painted Harley Davidson's. I swear, only in England.
Man, I love this country!

08 June 2007

Adventures In York, Chapter One: Feed Me!






My adventures in York were aided by my dear friend, Jimbo. His name isn't really Jimbo, it's James. But I call him Jimbo.










Jimbo and I have known each other the better part of six years (scary). We've been pen pals for years, but now that we live in the same country, we get to do fun things like drive each other nuts with text messages. Even better, we get to send the entire North Country into absolute panic on our marvelous adventures (His dear mother aids us in our adventures by kindly allowing me in her guest room at Chez Vines).










So, Jimbo and I set out for York at the rather decent hour of 9am - ish. Well, I wasn't quite done with my hair at 9am, so it was really abou 9:17. But, hey, a girl's gotta look good. Naturally, Jimbo forgets his road map, but is convinced he can remember the way. Riiiight.










After driving through a plethora of back alleys and one-horse towns, we arrive in a marginally decent size town with an actual round about with signs pointing to York (Keep in mind that up until this point there have been absolutely no actual road signs listing York on them. York is a major city. In fact, it is THE major city in that part of the country AND the capital. And yet, no road signs. This baffles me greatly.). Jimbo follows the signs round the roundabout. We go down some streets which come out... at the roundabout! We go round it again. I'm starting to see visions of Chevy Chase. Finally we work our way out of the roundabout and down the proper road to York.










York is less than an hour from Scunthorpe where Jimbo lives. We arrive in York well after 11am. You do the math. Naturally I don't point this time discrepency out to Jimbo. Oh, no. I would never do that.










By this time I am hungry. Very hungry. And so we seek out that classic British cuisine... pub grub!









York is positively swimming in pubs, but the Golden Lion looks promising (and thankfully doesn't boast at being the most haunted pub in York). There isn't any gold, or any lions, but it's a nice cosy sort of place and the food is delicious! Jimbo orders the classic British fish and chips, whilst I (president of the I Hate Fish Club) order another classic Brit dish, bangers and mash. YUMMY!








Replete from my repast (and much less grumpy) I'm raring to go. Off to the castle.............!