Once Upon A Time In London

This is the tale of the adventures of a native Oregonian in London.

07 December 2006

Weird Things English People Do

Sometimes I wonder if I'm still on the same planet. For instance, today at lunch I watched a guy spread Marmit on his sandwhich. Marmit. Eeew Ick. For those of you who don't know what Marmit is... look it up. Can we say YUCK?

Don't order cider in a pub unless you want hard cider. For those non-drinkers out there, hard cider is an alcoholic beverage only vaguely related to our American cider in the fact that they might toss an apple or two into the brew.

Whatever you do, do not refer to your pants as pants. Pants are underwear and you will get a lot of funny looks if you yell out in the store that you need some new pants. Or worse, that you have a stain on your pants.

English people do not know what a doodad is. I had to explain the concept of doodad. They were facinated.

I STILL try and get in on the wrong side of the car.

Erasers are called rubbers. Enough said.

Do not tell an Englishman or woman that he (or she) has a lot of spunk. I will not explain. Just don't do it. Trust me on this one people.

Fries are chips and chips are crisps. Unless you go to KFC and then fries are fries. Fries/chips are eaten with mayo, never katchup, and crips come in very weird flavors like Thai chilli, beef and cheddar, and something with shrimp I think.

The library has one of the most bizarre systems I've ever seen. When books are returned they stack them higgledy piggledy on trollies (carts to us Yanks) and shove them in a corner until someone gets around to shelving them. They are in no particular order of any kind and as many as half a dozen trollies are in the corner at any one time. You, as the library patron, have the duty to check these trollies for yourself should you not find the book you're looking for, in the hopes it MIGHT be on the trolley.

But don't get me wrong, English people are seriously cool. They have those fantastic accents and they call everyone "my love" and "my dear" and "my darling" and you really don't mind because it's so lovely and ENGLISH.

They have trains that can travel 200 miles in just over an hour.

They think my American accent is sexy.

You can fly from London to Belfast for £18 (that's $34.20).

They'll take any excuse to throw a party. Even if it's only a small party.

21 paid vacation days a year. Enough said.

So, I hope my English friends have not taken offence at any of my comments on English weirdness. After all, Americans are a little odd, too. Peanut butter, anyone?

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